November 2011
1 post
Time to restart TMC?
We the writers let down the readers. We didn’t finish our stories and we just stopped trying. We can offer some reasons and excuses for that, but in the end we just came up short.
But maybe it’s time to start anew.
So, let us know if you want to see more oddly twisted stories from us.
Also, let us know if you want to join us as a writer.
?
December 2010
7 posts
Changes to Ham
If you’ve already read Chapter 6 of Bedeviled Ham, I just had a brainstorm while in bed and came out to add a few more lines. I think it’s a better ending than what I posted several hours ago. Of course, that’s my opinion, but I’m not overly fond of “The Lady or the Tiger” type of ending. This gives a bit more closure to the story. Hope you approve.
3 tags
Bedeviled Ham - Chapter 6
Previously
Perhaps pain was a clarifying agent. Ham realized that if there was one time in his life where he needed to use his wits, this was it. Nathan was ready and almost eager to put an end to Ham’s life, and if Nathan’s story was to be believed, Ham knew that choosing death now would not turn happily into him being alive and well tomorrow. So much for the perfect life.
Nathan...
3 tags
Bedeviled Ham — Chapter 5
Previously
The pain throbbed into being at his shoulder, just a modest bubbling of discomfort surfacing from some unseen source. It swished about up there until, as though by accident, it tipped downhill into the biceps, picking up speed as it went and, with it, a subtle sharpness to its ache. The pit of inner elbow slowed the movement, caused it to pool and concentrate, but only briefly. Then...
2 tags
Rummy - chapter 5
Previously.
The paper was crinkly, like it was really old, and smelled a little like the basement. The letters were small and the words were crammed close together. It was a plain sheet with no lines, and I guess that’s why all the lines slanted down, like they were falling off the page.
Dearest Rachel,
I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.
I should have listened to you. You knew Ricky was no good....
'Tis the season for anticipation
Due to circumstances beyond our control, aka LIFE, we have gotten a bit behind with the posting of chapters. All is well, so fear not!
During the week of December 5th, you will see Chapter 5 posts for “They May Not Mean To But They Do,” “Bedeviled Ham,” and “Rummy.”
The week of December 12th will be the week to wrap up, no not gifts, all five of the stories....
1 tag
Welcome to Boomtown - Chapter 5
Previously
Floating. Earl tried to open his eyes, but the lids were too heavy, so he continued floating. He couldn’t feel his limbs, but this didn’t worry him. He remembered floating a few other times in his life; times he had intentionally tried to forget since they always had something to do with the bumps on his head.
Mary. Mary and floating. He remembered now. He met his wife...
2 tags
Bedeviled Ham - Chapter 4
Previously
Ham ran outside and ducked into a gangway. He worked to compose himself. He was hyperventilating and he could not think straight. He just couldn’t seem to comprehend what was happening. He rubbed his face and wrung his hands and mumbled to himself. “That’s it. I know what I have to do.” Passers by looked at Ham a little sideways, but he didn’t even notice. He had made his decision.
He...
November 2010
20 posts
2 tags
Len - Chapter 5
Previously …
Somehow the word treasure seemed more believable being spoken in this cavernous hideaway. Old milk crates of discarded power cords curled up under the workbench serpent-like and the curved metal roof of the structure caused our whispers to echo slightly.
“Nessie, you can trust me.”
After all I was an impartial observer here. My aim was to collect data. To collect stories,...
TMC: Round 5, Week 4
Amidst all the turducken and roast beast and green eggs and ham last week, we managed to find room to slip in new chapters for four of our stories. Enjoy these after-dinner treats.
I took Althea out of the suffocating walls of Len’s house on her search for Nessie.
Valary got Al and Lindsey back together. He’s still upset, but she’s formulating a plan.
Cary is still stewing...
2 tags
Welcome to Boomtown — Chapter 4
Previously
Earl was alone in the examination room longer than he would have liked. Dr. Gall had left him with a bemused look and one raised eyebrow. Earl felt he could hear the doctor’s judgment cascading from his brain down to his frown. “They’re just lumps, lad,” Earl assured him. “I never have had the prettiest of melons.” Dr. Gall merely turned and...
2 tags
Rummy - Chapter 4
Previously
When I heard Daddy moving around behind the bar again, I made my way down the stairs and climbed onto one of the bar stools. “Good morning, Daddy,” I chirped. His brow was still wrinkled and I wanted to say things that would bring a smile to his face. I liked his face much better when he smiled. He had a good face, and he rarely became angry with me, though I had seen his face...
2 tags
They May Not Mean To, But They Do - Chapter 4
Previously
For once Lindsey didn’t have a quick comeback to Al’s revelation. Perhaps her silence signaled that she was on the cusp of leveling up on the maturity scale in the game of life. Girls that age were said to be more mature than their male counterparts. Rather than spilling out her mouth like water through a sieve, words seemed to be bouncing around her head and then sticking...
2 tags
Len - chapter 4
Previously…
I tried to rouse Len from his seat, hoping there really was a small measure of love guttering in his dark heart, but he remained fixed and staring.
I figured Nessie couldn’t have gotten far, so I went out the front door and circled around the side by her window. There was no sign of her, but the grass was short and trampled; it looked like this wasn’t the first time Nessie...
2 tags
Welcome to Boomtown - Chapter 3
Previously
The bumps had always been there, even when he was an infant. His pa told him it was a sign of special things to come. Thankfully, his hair came in thick as he grew into toddlerhood, so the lumps weren’t obvious unless someone put her hands on his head. That didn’t happen often enough for him to worry about.
Pa told Earl the bumps were like antennae. Each one was tuned into something...
Bye Week
Hah! You thought my chapter for Monday’s story was late. No, no! It’s not due until next Monday.
We’re taking this week off at TMC in order to devote our attention to trussing our birds, mashing our berries, and grinding our sausage. At least that’s what I’m doing. Some of the other writers might be cooking or doing other things to prepare for Thanksgiving.
...
Round 5, Week 3
Things are heating up in all five of our stories. If you have not yet started reading, this is a good time to jump in, back track, and catch up. Just follow the link for each story and go back to Chapter 1, or else go to the archives and catch up that way. This round of stories contains some quirky characters! I’m posting early because I have to be out and about until tomorrow afternoon and...
3 tags
Rummy — Chapter 3
Previously
The storm had blown away by the time I got out of bed. The sun was already up and shining through my window so it looked like a ribbon was wrapped around Rummy’s mane. Miss Marie was gone, too, just like the storm. Daddy never tells me when she and I have a sleepover, but she snores so loud I always wake up. And when she’s snoring away on my floor, it means Daddy and...
2 tags
Round 5, Week 2
I’ve been trapped under something heavy all week, so this Week 2 Wrap-Up is coming to you with three-fifths of Week 3 on the books. This is not a problem, good readers; this is a gift. You see, this means that the overwhelming anticipation you normally feel upon reading these roundups, the nervous waiting that typically stymies your weekends and causes you to obsessively refresh the TMC page...
2 tags
They May Not Mean To, But They Do - chapter 3
Previously…
“You’ve barely touched your eggplant curry, Al. Is it alright?”
Al wanted to say it looked like baby food. Or worse, like baby poo. But instead he smiled and poked at the heart of the yellow gloop and shoveled a substantial forkful into his mouth, smiling at Mrs. Palace. Gina. He always had to remind himself that Lindsey’s parents were Gina and Rick. He swallowed, hoping he...
2 tags
Bedeviled Ham - Chapter 3
Previously
Ham froze as if the phone were a deadly spider that had injected paralyzing venom into his brain. Words wouldn’t form. The alien creature, seemingly affixed to his head, had to be dealt with.
“Ham, are you there? Ham, can you answer me?”
Having pried the phone away from his head, Ham stared at it as he tried to get his brain to instruct his fingers to manipulate it in a way that would...
2 tags
Rummy - Chapter 2
The storm was deafening, even in the harbor. The barges and freighters slowly made their way in from the open water. Freighters dropped anchor there in the harbor, while barges loaded and moved upriver to inland destinations. The ship lights were all but invisible through the driving rain.
Marie shook off her poncho as she came through the tavern door. She hung it on the hook where it dripped onto...
3 tags
Len - Chapter 3
Previously
“Huh?” Len’s stare came into focus, as if he had actually heard me. “What kind of question is that?” “It’s the kind of question I need to ask,” I replied. “Why don’t we go back into the other room and let your mother sleep while we chat.” I moved toward him, as that was the only direction available to me in the midst of the clutter. Len put Lulu down and she disappeared from sight....
2 tags
Welcome to Boomtown - Chapter 2
Previously
Just as scarecrows were a dying breed as family farms gave way to strip malls and factories loomed vacant as haunting remnants of an era fading into history, Earl sometimes felt himself drifting into oblivion. He too was of a different time and the pallor of his skin was making him look increasingly like a character from an old black & white movie. Jimmy Stewart might have...
2 tags
Bedeviled Ham - chapter 2
Previously.
“What about Thursday? I’ve got, let’s see, ‘closed Peterman deal and celebrated with a long run.’”
Ham looked queasy as he checked his journal. “That’s what I’ve got too. What I don’t have is anything about the towel bar I accidentally ripped off the bathroom wall. I was tired from my run and leaned on it a little too...
Round 5, Week 1
I’m a little late with this recap, but that’s a good thing. Now everyone who missed the first week’s chapters because they were wrapped up in the Christine O’Donnell non-sex story or too busy trying to figure out how to pronounce Lincecum or in a sugar coma from one too many dips into the candy bowl can have a chance to rectify the situation.
N.B. “Rectifying The...
They May Not Mean To, But They Do - Chapter 2
JB - November 2, 2010
Previously
A sudden sharp rapping on the closet door made Skip hold his breath, as if not breathing would make whoever was on the other side of the door go away. “What the hell are you doing in there? If you’re having it off, I don’t want to know; if you’re not, then open the damn door.” Skip recognized the voice, having just fled from it to the safety of the closet....
3 tags
Len — Chapter 2
Chapter 1
At first you pretend not to notice. Or maybe it’s more that you learn not to see what you’re looking at. You walk into someone’s living room enough times where there’s an eight-foot-tall mounted black bear in the corner standing claws-out next to a treadmill being used as a dish rack and eventually you learn to not even turn your head. You just smile and ...
October 2010
6 posts
2 tags
Rummy - Chapter 1
There have only ever been two rules about my rocking horse. Don’t tell anybody about him and don’t ride him when Daddy’s having meetings downstairs. Like tonight. Well like he was supposed to be having tonight. The only guests I’ve heard arrive so far were the wind gusts that blustered their way in like a couple of drunken sailors.
Somebody might have come by earlier because I’m pretty sure I...
2 tags
Welcome to Boomtown - chapter 1
Earl fits the cap to his head, the soft worn flannel molding itself to each of the 27 phrenological constants in his life. He spins on the balls of his feet and gives the brim a quick tug as he sizes up the view in the hall mirror. Twinkling eyes. One crooked picket in his sly white smile. One straight, fresh Newport tucked behind his left ear. All floating above long, loose limbs and a lean body....
Bedeviled Ham - Chapter 1
It was his first time in a therapist’s office. He looked around the waiting room and awarded it a nod of approval. There was a white noise machine tucked behind a potted plant in one corner. It provided soothing noise and also prevented him from hearing whatever transpired in the therapy session before his. It would also prevent anyone from hearing whatever he might say, and that was most...
3 tags
They May Not Mean To, But They Do — Chapter 1
“I hate Fleetwood Mac.”
It was lunch, first day of eighth grade, and the boy had mustered enough strength to talk to the new girl. He’d fallen in love with her that morning, before he’d even seen her. Mrs. Crosby read her name from the homeroom roster and he knew. The boy had suffered years of torment due to his own name, so it was a relief to find someone burdened even more than himself with the...
3 tags
Len - Chapter 1
The property was beautiful. High above the river, the hill out front covered with trees. The gravel drive wound up the hill, rutted in spots thanks to runoff. As I turned the bend at the top, the house and outbuildings came into view. It was like driving from urban sprawl into rural southern Kentucky in 500 feet of time.
I threw the bag over my shoulder and slowly walked to the back door. Bees...
Counting down the days...
We’ll be back with new content on Monday. Monday!
May 2010
17 posts
4 tags
Divergent - Chapter 6
Previously
Andy’s imposing figure worked against him. Nobody stops to give a lift to someone his size at that time of night, especially when you’re near a hospital. No telling what sort of weirdo who’s had to go to A&E you could end up with.
Summoning what little energy he had left Andy dragged himself to a nearby park and slumped onto a bench. He looked to the clear night...
2 tags
WXYZ - Chapter 6
Previously
Wesley remained in his chair, unable to process the event with which he was confronted. As the door opened, all he could see was a silhouette carved out of the bright rectangle that was the hall light spilling into his apartment.
“What are you doing in here?” the Super barked at Wesley. “I never imagined you’d be in here when I got a call about water leaking...
3 tags
We're Not in Kansas Anymore - Chapter 6
Previously
In the house next door, Theo put down his night vision binoculars and picked up his cell phone, touching a digit from his speed dial list. His call was answered after only one ring.
“I think we need to move on this situation. I’ve lost contact with Mike.” Theo listened intently to the voice at the other end. “I’m pretty sure she clocked him,” he...
Round 4, Week 5 Wrapup
Well, week five seems to have come and gone rather quickly. I can hardly believe that our stories will be concluding next week. Here’s where we’re at:
I kicked the week off with Lost Cities of Argentina. If you know about Borges then I’m sure my chapter made perfect sense. It not then I’m sure Richard will make it all come clear when he finishes up next week. Right,...
2 tags
Divergent - Chapter 5
Previously
The hospital room was hushed and dim, save for the low beeps and lights coming from the monitor and IV pump. A slight woman sat hunched by the bed, holding Pete’s hand with hers and a rosary wound around both. She looked up when she heard Andy’s hesitant footsteps.
“How is he? Will he be okay?”
“You leave this room right now Andy. I know what you did. You did nothing. You were there and...
2 tags
Buzz - Chapter 5
Previously
Having determined the smell wasn’t anything remotely resembling dinner, Stanley hung back. After a few more steps his roommate collapsed to her knees and let out a loud cry that scared him. His front paws danced beneath him back and forth in a quarter circle maneuver as he tried to figure out how to proceed. The other lady on the ground didn’t bother him. She looked like...
4 tags
WXYZ - Chapter 5
Previously
“I must admit that when you put it that way, it does make my desire seem a bit, um, eccentric. I have no intention of ending my life. I just want to eliminate the clutter and noise.” Wesley centered his empty cup in the saucer and leaned back in his chair. “You don’t know how close you came to getting your wish.” Abby patted her purse and Wesley felt a...
2 tags
We're Not in Kansas Anymore - Chapter 5
I woke from a little nappy at the kitchen table and saw I’d poured myself two cups of tea. I must have been awfully tired not to realize I’d already set one out for myself. No matter. I just put those two little cups on the sideboard so I could clean them in the morning. Time for bedily-by.
I walked to the front of the house to check the latch and bell on the door. I took a glance...
4 tags
Lost Cities of Argentina - Chapter 5
Previously
Chapter 5
“Poultry and Rabbit Inspector?! This is how you plan on getting me access to the main government building? What did you call it – The Garden?” Fernando waved the forged papers towards the large building in the distance which could just be seen through the apartment window.
“Yes,” she replied patiently. “That position is held in the highest regard and will grant you...
2 tags
Week Four Roundup!
Holy cow. We have a bunch of cool different kinds of things going on this round. It’s pretty damned fun. It’s never too late to join the fun. Go back and follow the stories when you have time. They’re short. Because they’re short stories!
Younger Quizzical seems to be keeping a secret, our visitor from another dimension has not been heard from, and the ghostly Caddy rolls...
2 tags
Divergent - Chapter 4
Previously
A piercing wail from the car horn suddenly washed over the scene, providing a steady stream on which time floated. Even without Andy’s special powers, events like these frequently play out in movie montage slow motion.
Cheerleaders, in their pleated skirts and school color ribbons tying off their ponytails, prepared to cheer, even if this turned into a blood sport.
Cut to the...
2 tags
Buzz - Chapter 4
Previously
She sat, frozen in place with her hand on the door handle, until Stanley began to worry. He nudged her arm with his nose, and she suddenly snapped into action. She leaned over and cranked the handle to close the window on the passenger side. Then, she turned to Stanley and said, “I don’t understand what’s happening. I’m scared.”
Stanley didn’t...
2 tags
WXYZ - Chapter 4
Previously…
Though Wesley owned no television and had little use for the popular cinema, he nonetheless recognized the sound of a pistol’s hammer clacking in place.
“Hands where I can see them. Slowly if you please,” the voice, sweet and throaty, commanded and he obeyed. Wesley raised both hands above his head, still clutching the purloined book with his left. He heard...
THIS IS A PLUG!
monkeyfrog:
We work super hard on Too Many Cooks. Five of us write round-robin short stories, and we do it fairly seamlessly.
If you truly love original content, you should consider us for Tumblr Tuesday recommendation!
We’re ribbed for your pleasure.
On second thought, if you really do like our content, just let your friends and followers know.
Apparently, amongst their other failures,...
4 tags
We’re Not In Kansas Anymore - Chapter 4
Previously
I pressed my ear up to the door and listened as hard as I could. There was nothing to be heard. I peered through the window. There was nothing to be seen. Getting locked out of my own home twice in a week was not good. I hoped that my daughters would not find out. They would not care or even believe that this time it was not my fault. This was rather bothersome.
I was feeling somewhat...
3 tags
Lost Cities of Argentina - Chapter 4
Previously…
Younger Quizzical set the saucer of milk on the open windowsill as he always did after work. He stripped down to his shorts and opened the icebox, but lost interest thanks to fatigue and instead sat at the table and lit a cigarette.
He was certain his partner’s advice was good. Taller Wider had experience and while he had no particular career aspirations, he knew the unspoken...