Bedeviled Ham - Chapter 4
Ham ran outside and ducked into a gangway. He worked to compose himself. He was hyperventilating and he could not think straight. He just couldn’t seem to comprehend what was happening. He rubbed his face and wrung his hands and mumbled to himself. “That’s it. I know what I have to do.” Passers by looked at Ham a little sideways, but he didn’t even notice. He had made his decision.
He walked in the door of his apartment and looked around. He set the bags down and checked the closets and looked behind the shower curtain. At this point he was so paranoid he wouldn’t have been at all surprised to find an alien standing in the bathtub or sleeping in the closet. Once he assured himself he was alone, he went to work.
Ham set up the tripod and video camera in the kitchen with a view of the counter area. He made sure the camera’s live feed showed up on his website, then he put the camera on standby. He opened the other bag and pulled out the wire cutters. He got the cutting board out of the cabinet and put it on the counter in view of the video camera. He set a bowl of ice out next to the cutting board, took off his belt, and grabbed the roll of paper towels.
With the scotch poured and at the ready, Ham turned the camera back on. He downed the scotch and poured another, this time a full tumbler. He went to the bathroom so he could relieve himself before he got started. He wasn’t exactly sure he could predict what would happen, and he didn’t want to have an accident.
He stepped back into view of the camera and began to speak. “I’m Ham.” He spoke in a shaky voice. He gave his address and Nathan’s phone number. “I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this,” Ham said. He was growing paler by the minute. He had another slurp of scotch. “If you see anything untoward in the next few moments of this broadcast, please contact Nathan immediately. I need to prove once and for all that I am not delusional. This is the only way I can think to do it without hurting someone else.”
Ham turned his attention to the items on the counter. He fastened the belt tightly around his left forearm, laid his arm gently on the cutting board with his pinky extended, and took a deep breath. Grabbing the wire cutters, Ham sighed. “Here goes nothing.”
